christ-centered childbirth

I'll be officially 38 weeks in a few days.  This is surreal...I could be meeting him any day now and it is the most exciting, terrifying feeling.

As far as labor prep, I'm planning on having a natural childbirth.  I've been exercising and eating my veggies and taking The Bradley Method classes.  We hired a doula and she's been the biggest gift in helping me feel empowered and confident in my ability to actually do this.  But, a birth snob I am not, and totally recognize that the goal is to have a healthy baby in the end.  Labor is crazy and I honestly believe that there is no "right" way to bring life into this world.  As a couple we chose to plan on a natural birth... I know that it might not happen and that's ok.  I'm going to try my hardest not to be disappointed if things don't go as planned ;).

For me, this decision was something both Brad and I prayed a lot about.  I felt like the Lord was inviting me into this as an opportunity to draw closer to Him, giving me a chance for a lesson in redemptive suffering.  Suffering can be beautiful...Christ's Passion taught us that.  When I'm scared of any little cross I remember that the word compassion literally means "to suffer with".  If we don't learn how to suffer beautifully, with dignity, how are we going to be compassionate individuals of society? How will we understand the suffering of others if we don't know how to suffer ourselves?

Plus, I'm kinda crunchy and personally don't like the feeling of being on heavy medicine (the epidural is actually scarier to me than the pain of natural childbirth :)).  So, I'm gonna go for it! And the only thing that's gonna get me through it is Jesus. And Brad's back massages.

Am I scared? um YES. Of so many things. I'm scared of not being in control, of the pain, of the unknown, of what to do after the birth is over (like...how about all that mom stuff?!).  But then I remember "Be not afraid".  Fear is not of God. In choosing to cast out fear, I am embracing the joy of meeting my child for the first time outside the womb. I am confident in the abilities of my body and rest in the belief that I was created to bring this life into the world. I am in awe of what my body has been able to do thus far. 

Shout out to womanhood: Being a woman is pretty incredible, isn't it?!

I'm a little obsessed with birth stories, and could probably talk about birth all day long. 
Here's what I'm currently reading to help me prepare:

Natural Hospital Birth
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
Breastfeeding Made Simple

Here are a few Scripture verses I've been meditating on recently to help me spiritually prepare:

Joshua 1:9

Philippians 3:14

Isaiah 26:3

Isaiah 41:10

Isaiah 40:11

Psalm 31:5

Nehemiah 8:10
 

And I'll leave you with these powerful words by St. John Paul II on the message of Divine Mercy:

It is a message that is clear and understandable for everyone. Anyone can come here, look at this image of the merciful Jesus, His Heart radiating grace, and hear in the depths of his own soul what Blessed Faustina heard: "Fear nothing. I am with you always" (Diary, 586).

And if this person responds with a sincere heart: "Jesus, I trust in You," he will find comfort in all his anxieties and fears. In this "dialogue of abandonment," there is established between man and Christ a special bond that sets love free. And "there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear" (1 Jn 4:18).

fossier fais do-do

Where do I even begin?! Our trip home was filled with oh so many wonderful things I don't even know how to process all the fun.  There were ordinations, and dance parties, and nuns, and weddings, and swimming, and walks down memory lane.  But most importantly, there was the food (just in case you didn't realize, eating my way through Louisiana is one of my favorite things to do).

First up, Baton Rouge.  We celebrated the ordination of our BFF Fr. Brad Doyle into the priesthood at St. Joseph's Cathedral, and then had one heck of a party after his first mass.  I may or may not have danced way too hard but Rodie Romero and the Hub City All-Stars were playing, so could you blame me?  They were the band for our wedding and I just couldn't help my little 9 month pregnant self. Seriously, I couldn't get off the couch for 2 days after this (and it was totally worth it). Here's us with Roddie...

And here's me with my sweet nuns at the ordination....the Missionaries of Charity! They are with Bl. Mother Teresa's order, which is why their habits might look familiar to you.  I worked with them a lot during college and they are so much fun (and a beautiful witness to the Catholic Church).  I, however, am ridiculous and totally bring out the silly in them.  We giggle way too much when we haven't seen each other in a long time! Who am I kidding, we giggle way too much basically every time we see each other.

See what I mean?

And here's the only photo we took with Fr. Brad on his ordination day at the spontaneous after-after party at the Benton Home...whoops! Friend and photo document fail.  Try not to look too excited to take a picture Fr. Brad ;)

After all the ordination activities, we spent some quality time with our people -- I had lunch with Mary Claire, Brad and I went swimming with our adorable nieces, and we even made a day trip to see my grandparents in Lafayette! How beautiful is my grandmother?!

Then we said good by to Baton Rouge (and LSU) and were NOLA bound!!!

the fossier's take new orleans

We did a good thing and started our New Orleans vacation as any good start to a New Orleans vacation should... beignets!

Then we were ready to take on this magical city...

We were in town for our good friends Jonathan and Kat's wedding -- Brad served as the best man and it was a blast getting to be there during such a special time in their lives. 

Jonathan actually lives at the rectory of St. Louis Cathedral in the French Quarter, but since he was getting married he needed help moving out.  Which is where we came to the rescue (and meant that I got to see all the secret things!) Well, it's not really that secret, but I still felt super cool...I mean, check out that elevator!? It was kinda like a dream for me to frolic all around the building.  It was built in early 1800's and filled with all sorts of historic holy goodness!

While Brad did best man things I got to have a girls day with my mama and two of her adorable sisters.  We went out for lunch at Baru, then got ice cream at Creole Creamery (my fav), and went shopping (of course).  There's this awesome eyeglasses shop called Art and Eyes that is so much fun! We were a mess trying on all the glasses..I had trouble parting with them.

Before we knew it, it was wedding time!!!

There's nothing like a New Orleans wedding...

We love you New Orleans! And next time we see you, we will have a baby in tow.  Can't wait to show him all of my favorite stops...including these cupcakes.  Brad and I couldn't leave the state without stopping for lunch at the Cake Bakery in the bywater district.  Come to mama, you beautiful vanilla cupcake you. 

year one (part 2)

And now we celebrate!  Bradley surprised me with the most incredible anniversary trip.  We love to have little adventures together, so we decided instead of giving each other presents for Christmas and anniversaries, we will go on a memorable trip instead.  But this year our anniversary coincided with our Louisiana vacation, so I didn't think we would be doing anything special...

All that changed Sunday morning (!!!!) Because I have the best husband EVER and he wanted to make sure we did something special for our first anniversary. 

After a beautiful Pentecost mass at our parish we packed our bags for a quick night stay at the West Baden Springs Hotel in French Lick.  We were greeted with a bottle of wine (which I didn't drink) with a cheese/fruit tray in our room. I was allllll about that (minus the me not being able to drink the wine part... definitely not about that). Here's the view of the inside of the resort from our balcony.  The building itself was built in 1902 and had the most incredible architecture.

The grounds of the hotel were glorious.  So many beautiful flowers (including PEONIES!!!). 

PEONIES!!!

And here's a little 35-week bumpdate for your viewing pleasure ^

How cute is my hubby?!

As beautiful as the gardens were, our favorite part about the hotel were probably those green chairs...

#twinning

The next surprise included a hiking trip to North Carolina!!! I kid, I kid. We were actually in Hoosier National Forest hiking fun things.  But you could have fooled me by the looks of these photos! Seriously, did you know Indiana could be this pretty? Me neither.  Also, it's really entertaining watching an 8 1/2 month pregnant woman hike cliff things in case you were wondering.

We had such a nice time! It was the perfect way to start off our road trip down to Louisiana.  See you in a few, LA!!!!

one year anniversary + love letters

Today is our one-year anniversary. 

ONE YEAR. I can hardly believe it! It feels like we have so much more to learn and yet we’ve hit such a milestone at the same time.  I know we are still babies in our sacrament, but I still feel like this is a big accomplishment.  As blissful those years of dating Brad were, being married has taken it to a whole other level.  This year has honestly been the best, most peace-filled year of my life.  And it’s extra special because we are expecting our little one in a few weeks time! 

In honor of today, I want to share with you my favorite moment of our wedding day.  About a month before the ceremony our friend Fr. Josh called me up to ask me about a crazy idea he had...  He wanted Bradley and I to write love letters to each other so that he could include them in the homily.   Of course, I was all for it because I’m a sentimental sap and just LIVE for stuff like this.

Here's my letter:

Dear Bradley,

As we enter into this holy sacrament, there is a sense of overwhelming joy and peace when I reflect about our relationship.  Looking back, I realize that our love story must have come straight from the heart of God Himself. I know with an utmost certainty that you are my path to heaven, and I recognize that both our earthly and eternal happiness depends on how we uphold the sacred vocation we enter into today.

Bradley, you are the most tangible evidence of God’s grace in my life, and I am humbled every day by your love for me. Your smile alone gives me the strength I need to overcome any struggle, and you genuinely show me the Lord’s pure love for me every day. With you by my side, I know we can stand against any darkness that distracts us from our path. I am confident the Lord will guide our decisions so that we may reflect his love, light, and joy to all we encounter in our marriage. You have taught me what it means to live for greater things than myself, and I thank you for allowing me to love you amidst my own brokenness.

As I say these vows today, I am promising to give you all of me so that we may no longer be “two but one flesh”.  I promise to fight everyday to become worthy of your love. I promise to never forget how I felt on our first date. I promise to pray for you always… for your relationship with Christ, for the grace to be the best husband and father, and for your role as the spiritual leader of our family.  I promise that our children will know every day how much I love their father.  I promise to wake up each morning and say, “yes” to you and our marriage. I promise to love you for who God has in mind for you to become and to spend my life challenging you to get there.

I can’t promise I will be perfect at this, but I can promise that I will try.  Your selflessness, patience, and merciful heart challenge me to be Christ for you. I want to serve you everyday and show you what a good person is.  You remind me that just as Christ laid down His life for us, we must too die to our own desires for the sake of the other.   I love you, Bradley, and I can’t wait to be your wife!

In Christ’s love,
Emily

Bradley's Letter:

My dearest bride Emily,

The most astounding, beautiful thing has happened today -- bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh -- I give myself to you this first day only to bring you to Joy on the last day.  I feel I've been preparing my whole life to begin this moment with you.  I can vividly remember sitting in class in fifth grade thinking of where my future wife was at that instant, and now the Lord has finally blessed me with the answer.

I have found my other half, my best friend, the seal upon my heart.  It is inconceivable how essential you have become to me, but today that mystery deepens as you become the most inseparable part of my path to heaven.  I've been rereading Evangeline over the last few days, and I came across this passage which could speak directly to that journey we set out on today:

"As a traveler follows a streamlet's course through the valley;
Far from its margin at times, and seeing the gleam of its water
here and there, in some open space, and at intervals only
Then drawing nearer its banks, through sylvan glooms that conceal it,
though he behold it not, he can hear its continuous murmur;
Happy, at length, if he find the spot where it reaches an outlet"

As we set out along the stream to find the one Outlet, may we be blessed to see the gleam of the True Water in our times of consolation.  But even more, I pray we might always hear the good Lord's beautiful continuous Murmur when the stream is concealed and difficult to follow.  Emily, this is a most unworldly paradox - we are to take sufferings and turn them into gladness.  To perfect this talent, I commit this day, only by the example of Christ, to lead you as the head and priest of our family, but I will always fall short without you as the heart of our family, pouring out love into every corner.  May we intimately know our God - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and may our love perfectly image that Trinity.

What a joy it is to know the most beautiful girl in the world will be the first person I see every morning, the highlight of my every day, the mother of my children, the sharer of my name, and the saint under my own roof.  I love you.  I love you.  I love you.  I hold your hand as we, like Peter, step out of the boat onto the rough sea.  Now we embrace, and our eyes turn to Him.

With unshakable love, your husband,
Bradley

The first thing we did this morning is read our letters while sipping our coffee.  I still mean every word of that letter and the vows we said.  Having Bradley by my side reminds me every day of my Father’s love for me.  I am in awe at how effortlessly he leads me to Christ – always patient, always joyful, always kind.  He is truly my St. Joseph.

Now off to our anniversary adventure… Brad promised a day full of fun and surprises!

all photos by Katherine Holly Photography

psalm // song of the month

This past month, I’ve adopted a new challenge in my morning prayer life.  Let’s face it, mornings are hard, and it’s not always easy to consistently pray when you’re running late for work.  Am I right?

So, with some guidance of a priest, I decided to assign a different psalm every month for me to pray every day.  Some days I have more time for prayer than others, but this is something small and tangible that I can do each morning (especially on the days when I don’t have the time to devote as much time to prayer as I would like).   It takes 5 minutes of your day and I’ve already noticed a difference.  It’s amazing to me how I can read the same scripture each day and get something new from it pretty much each time.

The Psalm for the month of May is Psalm 51.  I’d love for you to pray along with me!

“Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.

Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.

Surely I was sinful at birth,
sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb;
you taught me wisdom in that secret place.
Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
so that sinners will turn back to you.
Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
you who are God my Savior,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.

Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it;
you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings.
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise.

May it please you to prosper Zion,
to build up the walls of Jerusalem.
Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous, in burnt offerings offered whole;
then bulls will be offered on your altar.”

— Psalm 51

Also, just to be really fun, I’d like to include a SONG of the month in addition to a PSALM of the month.  I know, so cute. In honor of the Josh Garrels album dropping last month, here’s my favorite Josh Garrels song. If you haven't heard of Josh Garrels, the dude's got some serious soul. Check it:

You see!!! It’s perfect for rolling the windows down and singing at the top of your lungs. And it gives me serious goose bumps.  Optional challenge: have a competition with your significant other to see who can get the most words correct each time you sing it in the car (I’m totally winning).